Next Media Animation, the Taiwanese animation company that produces short cartoons recapping the news of the day, has its best muse in sports, where the lines between good and evil lend themselves to pictures of angry video game characters, and events are just cartoonish enough to spark the overactive NMA imagination. It's a vision of what sportswriting once was: loose with the facts, endlessly biased, and happy to caricature villians and add fantastical unlikelihoods to its summaries. There's also the fact that some of the jokes are clearly lost in translation, CGI characters doing anything looks weird, and the good people at NMA are obviously a little insane. Nonetheless, this is more or less the way the year went down. This year, NMA incorporated photoshops from Deadspin commenters into its recap of Pacquiao-Marquez—you guys are famous!—and with that overlap in mind, it seemed there were few better ways to relive the year in sports than taking a look back at the strangest moments—out of many, many options—from their summaries. Take it away, God playing with Tom Brady and Eli Manning action figures to decide Super Bowl XLVI, from "Super Bowl 2012: Manning clutch as Giants beats Patriots 21-17," and click through for more of the delightfully surreal NMA weirdness that will eventual end up replacing the actual events in our memories. 2) Tim Tebow, in the depths of hell, wearing an "I ♥ NY" shirt, from "New York Jets, Denver Broncos agree to Tim Tebow trade" 3) This little child throwing an axe, which was somehow necessary to explain Metta World Peace's suspension for elbowing James Harden, from "Metta World Peace: Laker faces suspsension for elbowing" 4) A succinct illustration of the Saints' bounty program, from "New Orleans Saints face NFL punishment in 'bounty-gate'" 5) I'll Have Another trainer Doug O'Neill, mixing a steroid cocktail "milkshake" with creepy, steroid-dealer Ronald McDonald, from "I'll Have Another scratches from Belmont Stakes, ends Triple Crown hopes" 6) A mountain lion—a Nitanny Lion, in fact—shitting golden eggs on a desk while NCAA officials dance happily, from "Penn State football suspension: death penalty not punishment enough" 7) Michael Phelps—Phelps is the dolphin—blowing weed smoke onto a statue of a discus thrower, indicating that he had surpassed every other Olympian in terms of medals, from Michael Phelps 2012 Olympics 19th medal 8) A large bear spanking Maria Sharapova, who is placing tennis in a bikini, from "Tennis grunting ban supported by Maria Sharapova" 9) Gray-haired Roger Goodell, dressed as an ancient Roman magistrate, literally pissing on fans and players, from "NFL referee lockout bloopers ruining 2012-2013 NFL season" 10) A dog, inexplicably eating Lance Armstrong, from "Lance Armstrong leaves Livestrong, dumped by Nike" 11) A (literal) Oregon duck shitting on some (literal) USC Trojans' heads, from "USC Trojans football: Lane Kiffin needs to grow up" 12) One anthropomorphic Chicago Bear throwing a bucket of water on another for reasons that aren't explained (the idiomatic definition of "to throw water on" doesn't fit) while they barbecue what I assume are Seawhaws, from "Seattle Seahawks Suspension: NFC wild-card spot on the line?" 13) Blood flying as Dwight Howard jumps on a stapler, which is stapling Carmelo Anthony's knee, from "Jeremy Lin leads Houston Rockets to victory over New York Knicks" 14) Tommy Tuberville dressing up as a woman in order to sneak out of the bathroom window during his dinner with Texas Tech recruits, from "Tommy Tuberville dines and dashes on Texas Tech, Kliff Kingsbury new coach" 15) Jesus in heaven, watching First Take, from "Jets' Ryan sabotaging Tebow's career" Relatedbetting odds calculatorparlay returnsmoneyline bet calculatorhalf points in nfl bettingcalculate kelly criterionbetting hedge calculatoropening spreadbetting over underwhats a parlay in bettinground robinpositive ev sports bettinghow hedging works in sports betting
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Ruthless Germany too strong for Italy / Image via eurosport.co.uk
Germany played host to Italy on Tuesday night determined to bounce back from a disappointing 3-2 defeat to England last week which put Joachim Low’s charges under huge pressure amidst the team’s Euro 2016 preparations.
Die Mannschaft rose to the occasion and got back to being their usual selves as they displayed a fantastic performance against otherwise respectable Italy in one of Europe’s greatest classics.
Four goals in the net were more than what Gianluigi Buffon had bargained for, as Toni Kroos, Mario Gotze, Jonas Hector and Mesut Ozil struck to earn their team an impressive win against the Azzuri.
Antonio Conte’s men managed to restore some of the lost pride thanks to Stephan …
Manuel Pellegrini has rued the decision to go public with the appointment of Pep Guardiola as his successor at Manchester City halfway through the season rather than wait until the end of the 2015-16 campaign.
City announced in February that Guardiola would replace Pellegrini as the man in charge ahead of the 2016-17 season when they were still fighting for the Premier League title, only to then lose against Leicester City, Tottenham and Liverpool in the following weeks.
Pellegrini has acknowledged it was his decision to confirm Guardiola s move to City and has indicated he would take care of things differently if he could do it all over again.
Yes, it was my decision [to go public with Guardiola s appointment], Pellegrini told The Guardian.
After Gua…
Al Nasr striker Ibrahima Toure has been linked with a return to France s top flight, .
The experienced forward surprisingly left Monaco after helping the Principality club gain promotion to the elite division, moving to Al Nasr Dubai.
And despite enjoying a very successful season in United Arab Emirates, the 28-year-old is reportedly pondering a return to France.
L Equipe understands that the likes of Saint Etienne, Montpellier, Bastia and Evian are all showing interest in his signature.
While coming through the youth ranks at Metz, Toure has spent most of his early career outside Europe, playing for Chengdu Wuniu, Wydad Casablanca, Paykan, Persepolis, Sepahan and Ajman before joining Monaco in January 2012.
The Senegal international went on to s…
Goals either side of half-time from Vincent Janssen and Georginio Wijnaldum ensured Austria rounded off their Euro 2016 preparations with a disappointing 2-0 defeat to Netherlands.
The boisterous home fans at Vienna s Ernst-Happel-Stadion did their best to rouse Austria by creating an atmosphere that belied the fact this was only a friendly, but the hosts defensive frailties let them down.
Marcel Koller s team looked dangerous going forward, but they lacked the ruthlessness of Netherlands whose performance made further mockery of their inexplicable failure to qualify for the European Championship.
AZ striker Janssen, the Eredivisie s top scorer in 2015-16, headed the visitors in front in the ninth minute after taking advantage of some lax marking from Sebastian…
Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere had surgery on his left knee in Sweden on Tuesday, with the club confirming the operation was a success.
The 20-year-old will return to England to continue his rehabilitation with the
English Premier League side, and is expected to be training before the start of
next season.
Wilshere established himself as a key member of Arsene Wenger s side during the
2010/11 campaign, scoring three times in 49 appearances.
However, he missed the whole of the following season with an injury to his
right ankle and suffered a number of setbacks.
Wilshere s chances of featuring in England s Euro 2012 squad or Team GB s
Olympic squad were dashed by his injury setbacks.
…
Chelsea-bound Eden Hazard may go up against his future team-mates when England host Belgium in Roy Hodgson s second match in charge.
Belgian Hazard is widely reportedly to be on the verge of joining European champions Chelsea, for a fee rumoured to as much as 32 million pounds.
The playmaker became one of the most highly sought-after talents in Europe after guiding unheralded Lille to a double of Ligue 1 and the Coupe de France in 2010/11.
And it is Roman Abramovich s Chelsea, yet to appoint a fulltime manager and with caretaker Roberto di Matteo in limbo, who appear to have succeeded in luring the 21-year-old.
His imminent stardom may have already gone to his head Hazard was late to leave his hotel room on Tuesday, and found the team bus had left for tr…
Paris Saint-Germain need just a point against Istanbul Basaksehir on Tuesday to qualify for the Champions League last 16, but head coach Thomas Tuchel insists his side will be going all out for the win.
The Ligue 1 champions lost two of their first three Group H games, yet are in pole position to progress to the knockout stages after victories over RB Leipzig and Manchester United in their previous two games.
They have won five of their last six matches at the Parc des Princes in the Champions League and will be confident of seeing off their Turkish opponents, who have conceded four goals in each of their last two games in the competition.
While a draw will see PSG go through, Tuchel says his players will do everything they can to seal a win that would …
Diego Simeone expects a brave Salzburg to take Atletico Madrid out of their comfort zone in Wednesday s crunch Champions League clash.
Atleti, two-time finalists under Simeone, have drawn each of their past three group matches, including being pegged back to 1-1 by a late Thomas Muller penalty for Bayern Munich last time out.
A fourth consecutive stalemate in Salzburg will seal qualification for the knockout stages at their Austrian opponents expense, but Simeone knows Jesse Marsch s expansive side needing victory makes them particularly dangerous.
This game is a bit like when you play in a knockout game and you re away from home in the second leg, said Simeone, with Atleti having won a thriller between the sides 3-2 at the Wanda Metropolitano in October.
…
Santi Cazorla is reluctant to discuss his future until after the FIFA World Cup amid speculation about a move to Atletico Madrid.
The midfielder joined Arsenal from Malaga in August 2012 and has become an integral part of Arsene Wenger s side.
Cazorla is currently on international duty with Spain in Brazil and the 29-year-old will not be distracted by talk about a move back to his homeland.
He told AS: When the World Cup is over, I’ll start thinking about my situation.
“I don’t want to be thinking about it right now and I’ve told my agents not to tell me anything if an offer comes in.
The playmaker, however, did go on to drop a hint that a move to Spanish champions could appeal.
He added I know a few of the Atletico players – (Diego) Godin,…
Sabri Lamouchi has resigned as coach of Ivory Coast following the country s heartbreaking exit at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil.
Ivory Coast were on track to qualify from Group C and join Colombia in the round of 16 before Georgios Samaras scored a controversial 93rd-minute penalty to hand Greece a 2-1 win in Fortaleza on Tuesday.
While Greece advanced ahead of Ivory Coast by one point, it condemned the African nation to their third consecutive group-stage exit at a World Cup.
And Ivory Coast s failure has claimed the casualty of Lamouchi, who was a controversial appointment back in 2012 having had no previous managerial experience.
My contract ended at this World Cup. It won t be renewed and you can understand why, the 42-year-old said post-game.